Good times

What is that cat eating?

Ground beef.

Ground beef?

Yes, we gave him some ground beef last night.

Last night? And he's eating it today?

Yeah, he really likes it.

(5 minutes pass)

Mom! The cat threw up! Three times!!

Well, you need to get it cleaned up.

Mom!! Ashlyn won't help because she says I saw it first so I should clean it up and because she says it's my cat, but I cleaned up the poop when Chevy pooped in the house last week.

Ashlyn, clean up the throw up.

MOM!!! Max is eating the throw up!!

Haley, put Max outside.

MOM!!!! Max just peed right on the cat throw up!! And Owen's standing right beside it eating cheese and he's going to step in it just to be mean!

Haley, put Max outside! And get something and help Ashlyn clean that up.

MOM!!!!! I was going to get some toilet paper and the toilet paper exploded.

What?

It exploded. There's toilet paper everywhere. Do I have to clean that up too?

Well, it doesn't really matter because your daddy is going to come home and kill you both.

It's not that big a deal. We don't need to tell him. Can you come back here?

No.

Why not?

Because high blood pressure is not good for the baby.

(one day hopefully I can bottle this crazy and sell it on ebay)