My reasons, issues, problems, etc.

Several people have asked me in the past few days why I haven't updated my blog. There are a number of reasons, the main one being that my family is making me crazy right now with all their issues and crap. The school has sent home so much paperwork regarding upcoming events that I had to go and buy a pocket calendar just to keep up with this week. That is just the beginning.

Ashlyn:
She has two main issues I am dealing with.
1. It is pretty cold here in the mornings (40) and she is a weenie. So every morning she cries because she is concerned that when she rides the 1.5 miles to the school she will be cold.
2. She wants a bra for her birthday. This is because her cousin Rebeckah visited us in July and told her that when you turn 8 you can get a bra. (Joan, we need to discuss how much of a bad influence your daughter is)

Haley:
Okay, who are we kidding here? Haley has no issues with anything or anybody, but we have issues with her. Haley knows no such thing as stress or worry, but she gives me gray hairs daily.
1. She has a boyfriend named Alex. Alex brings her stickers and stamps each day and on Friday he pays for her popcorn--not the .25 regular kind, he splurges on the .50 cheddar because that's Haley's favorite. I don't think any further detail is needed for everyone to see my issue with this.
2. She regularly trades away the small amount of healthy food we send in her lunchbox for other peoples' desserts. Again, enough said.
3. She really really really wants a real live turtle for her birthday and if she doesn't get one then that's fine, she'll just ask Santa for one. If anyone has any advice on this one, let me know.

Owen:
Owen has regular issues with everything I do. He now speaks in full sentences which include:
1. Get off the inner-net and play with me.
2. Owen needs a taco.--Owen thinks everyday is run for the border day at our house and begs for tacos all the time. fyi-it's actually a mexi-melt with no pico.
3. We go to the commissary...you buy this for Owen.--never have I met a child who enjoys grocery shopping so much. the buying part is basically reserved for peanut m&ms, which he eats at a frightening pace.
4. Look up.--Never, ever look up when Owen tells you to do this. This is just a ruse to get you to lift your head so he can punch you in the neck. Scott taught him this little gem, and we are all thankful. Owen is planning on doing it to Pops when he gets here Monday because another way Owen gets his jollies is to threaten my chance at an inheritance.

Owen's other main issue is that he truly believes that his stomach hurts not because of all the peanut m&ms or the 8 packs of fruit chews he averages a day but because he has a baby in his stomach. This is a huge point of contention between the two of us. Basically, he is right about it and I am wrong-there really is a baby in there.

Max:
1. With the new fence being built Max is only allowed outside when he is tethered to the picnic table, which he doesn't enjoy. He is also a weenie about the cold weather in the mornings.
2. He refuses to poop in front of anyone, and with all the fence builders outside it's impossible to get any privacy.

Frosty:
Frosty's problem is he is a cat, and cats are weird. And though it has not been diagnosed by a doctor, I believe Frosty has ADHD and needs medication for it.

Scott:
Scott's issues are all soldier related. How oh how do you make 300+ people act like decent human beings? Well, you don't, so you hand out article 15s and take away rank and pay and get home at 7:30 every night.

Jennifer:
I suppose all these problems I have listed above are actually my issues. I also have others, which we will not go into because they are pregnancy related and therefore gross. But I will say that I detest all people who can poop on demand and who get a good night's sleep every night.

So that is pretty much it, if you don't count all the stuff I didn't mention. Owen and I are fixing to leave to eat lunch with Haley. This is parent involvement week, so we will eat with Haley from 10:45 to 11:15. At 11:00 I will be in Ashlyn's classroom to watch her perform as a pilgrim in her class Thanksgiving show. (and yes, I will magically be in two places at one time). Then at 11:30 we will eat lunch with Ashlyn. Scott is supposed to meet us there--he'll be late. Owen told me he'd act decently--he won't. Wish me luck. At least I remembered to charge the camera so I will have hard evidence for the doctors...or lawyers.