Fire and Water...and more fire

Last week Owen and I were making our lunch when something fun-tastic happened. I eat the same thing every single day-a grilled chicken wrap. One tortilla, some shredded lettuce, some shredded cheese, and a few slices of grilled chicken topped off with a little italian dressing. I buy the chicken frozen, so I have to microwave it for 40 seconds before I can eat it. Last week I put the chicken on the plate as usual and started it up. About 10 seconds into this the microwave started flashing blinding flashes of light and the frozen chicken on the plate spontaneously burst into flames. Shortly after that lots of smoke shot out of the small vent thingy inside the microwave.

Today Skylar was crying (imagine that) and I was walking her back and forth in the living room when I heard the sound of running water. I found Owen washing dishes, using soap and everything. So there was a small swimming pool worth of water on the floor and a LOT of bubbles.

After that I got Skylar calmed down enough to take a shower and when I got out Owen was bouncing the bouncy seat so hard her head was banging off the headrest. I then went into the closet to get dressed and when I came out Owen was jumping on the bed. Obviously he does not remember this. He then flipped around and knocked the lamp off the bedside table, which fell off, the lightbulb shattered into 2 million little slivers of glass and lots of impressive white sparks shot out of the end of the lamp. So I screamed, so Skylar screamed, so Owen cried, so I called Scott, who was on his was to a luncheon at pizza hut (&%#$%*@) who assured me we would find a preschool for Owen soon.

So for the rest of the afternoon I will contemplate a quiet life with Owen at school and me simply rocking a baby in my glider. Right after I wash my comforter, which got dirty when Owen took the lid off his sippy cup and poured chocolate milk all over it.