All-knowing

"Hey Mama, you know what's totally not fair?"

"You mean other than life?"

Asking all runners

I'm running in a 5K on my birthday.  

Yeah, I'm just gonna let you soak that in for a minute.  Amber, quit laughing.

I am not a runner, I have never been a runner, but I've decided that I'm getting old and I need to exercise more so I can live a long, healthy life despite the massive amounts of alcohol I consume on a daily basis.  

I've also managed to bully April and Jenny into running with me, so if any of you are lacking for entertainment you really need to come watch.  I started "training" about three weeks ago and I'm currently at about a 10-minute mile pace.  I am not at that pace because I'm a decent runner though, I'm at that pace because running is boring as hell and I'm basically trying to get finished as quickly as I can.  I started off just seeing what I could do and tried to run a 12-minute mile pace and almost died right there it was so freaking boring.  The next week I bumped it up to a 6 mph pace just to shave off 6 minutes of the monotony.  Watching the tv on the treadmill helps tremendously, and I have no idea how I will possibly run 3.1 miles without being able to watch Live! with Regis and Kelly or the E! True Hollywood Story on the Kardashians.  But besides the boredom, here's my biggest problem:  I cannot pace myself off the treadmill.  So when I'm running out on the road I have no idea how fast I'm going.

The only thing I can figure out is that I should run on the treadmill at a 10-minute mile pace and scroll through my ipod for songs that I can run on the beat to?  Does this sound right?  Or should I just let April worry about the pace and just run with her?  

Parental math

"How far away is it?"

"Um, about 45 minutes."

"How long is that?"

"Well...long enough for the Wonder Pets to save three animals."

It's a good thing I like the 80s

To all of  you who said "Oh Jennifer, don't worry, when it gets longer it will lay down!"

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

In honor of my favorite holiday I made Skylar an obnoxious dress.
Inside the box it says "lucky" and you can take it one of two ways:
1. You're lucky she doesn't live with you.
or
2. It's a lucky thing she's cute otherwise she'd get the hell beat out of her every single day of her life.

New background

The new St. Patrick's Day background is my first lame attempt at creating my own layout from scratch.  Ashlyn helped, and by that I mean I asked "Do you think the two buttons should be even or not?" and she said "Even."  Of course she wanted to go around hogging all the glory when we got the thing to actually load, but I expected that.  Now that I look at it I can tell that the striped border looks awful...maybe a plain white divider would have been better.  Anyway, I'm hoping to get better with time.

St. Patrick's Day is my favorite holiday, because that was the day Scott and I first spent any time together outside of finance class, way back in 1996, and we've been together ever since.  (well, not counting basic training, PLDC, when he went to San Diego, OCS, when he went to Japan, all the field time in Alaska and Hawaii, that time he went to Afghanistan, and the present)  I know there are several people out there who read this blog who were there that fateful night (AW!) and PLEASE KEEP YOUR STORIES/COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.  No one wants to hear the whole sordid tale.  It would take too long and I would have to answer too many uncomfortable questions, most of them leading to more uncomfortable questions, like "Did you ever find Tonya?" and "Where exactly did you last see the car?" and "What on earth happened to those stuffed animals?"  *sigh*  Those were the good ol' days.

Yeah, sit there and judge.  You know you wish you had been there.  

**edited to add**

this was the first background I made

That little dog

Several people have been asking me about Shelby and how she's doing and blah blah blah and really I haven't had time to get into it on here because I'm too busy running all over the house cleaning up the teaspoon-size puddles of pee she leaves behind her.  

I've turned into a broken record, one that goes "Where's that little dog?" over and over again and inevitably she's run around the corner to pee.  And Heidi is absolutely beside herself, because that little dog has the nerve to just pee right in front of you while you are looking at her.  It makes Heidi so nervous she spends a lot of time just sitting in her crate with the door open shaking.  I am not even lying.   

I'm sure she's tried to warn her, but that little dog is pretty stupid.  And Heidi's all "What the hell are you doing?  She's gonna come in here and see you doing that and lose her mind.  Listen, if there's any advice I can give you it's DO NOT PEE IN HER HOUSE.  She hates that.  Remember that one time, the only time she ever took us outside together?  And it was overcast and she was trying to get us to hurry and instead of coming back to her we ran down to the road?  And then when we saw her coming we thought it'd be funny to run down the street toward the busy 4-lane road?  And then it started raining?  And she chased us all the way down the street and around the corner and up the busy 4-lane road in the rain and we cut back up through the woods and she had to go all the way back around because for God's sake there are snakes in those woods and when she finally got us both back in the house it was very unpleasant for all of us?  And then we got to spend quality time alone in our respective crates?  And now we don't get to be outside at the same time?  If you keep peeing in the house IT WILL BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT ALL DAY EVERY DAY FROM NOW TIL WE DIE."  And Shelby's all "PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE!"  So Heidi goes and sits in her crate and shakes.  

That's pretty much how it's going.  Thanks for asking. 

Second thoughts

(seeing me walking into the first class of Financial Peace)

"Hey, Dave Ramsey's gonna make you sell that purse!"

--thanks Lucy, for always making me smile--: )