It'll put hair on your chest

"It's eggplant.  I grilled it and then put mozzarella cheese on top."

(chewing) "It's okay."

"Scott, what do you mean it's okay?  You don't like it?"

"No, I do like it.  It's just that it's missing something."

"What?  Like a spice or something?"

"No...like meat."

Ashlyn gets baptized

This morning Ashlyn got baptized. And I really don't know what the heck is up with the camera, but all the pictures have a yellowish background. I have a very nice camera, and because it's so big it's a little hard to stick it in my purse so for Christmas Scott bought me a very nice, very small camera specifically to carry in my purse, and I still don't understand what setting the little dial needs to be on for the pictures to be any good.

Just about everyone we know came to church with us this morning, and Roni (my sister-in-law) sang How Great Thou Art and my gosh if you weren't there then wow did you miss out. I asked her to sing something that would bring the house down. Well, she had a standing ovation before she even finished the song. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Anyway, if anyone knows how to work my specific type of camera, let me know. Because my SLR is a lot easier than this point-and-shoot thing.

iPhone

I can't say enough about it.  

The only thing better than my new iPhone is doing anything with my new iPhone INSIDE THE MINIVAN.  

I hate that minivan by the way.  I'll admit, I was a little unsure as to whether or not I'd like driving a minivan, but I bit the bullet and bought one, then about a week later I was sitting there and it was like "Whoa, this thing is AWESOME!  Look at the doors!  They open by themselves!  Look at all the room we have!  And XM radio.  And a DVD.  And the leather smells so nice.  I LOVE THIS MINIVAN."

But you know what?  I had a lot of room, XM radio, a DVD, and leather (it smelled a little like spoiled milk but anyway) in my other car, and that car was paid for.  I loved that car.  I miss that car.  So basically it all boils down to the automatic doors, and really, am I that lazy that I can't use a door handle and pull open a door?  And the minivan has a sunroof, and I hate sunroofs.  And as weird as it sounds, there is no storage in the minivan.  Honestly, where am I supposed to put the DVD cases for the DVD we are watching?  There is no place to put them other than the floor.  I can't figure it out.  I'm riding around in a spacious minivan and there's no place to put all my crap.  It's maddening.  Then yesterday a CD got stuck in the changer.  So the screen popped up a message that said CD STUCK-YOU'RE SCREWED.   

So I've decided I hate it, and I hate driving it.  I'm buying me a Saab.  What?  All my kids won't fit?  WHERE DO I SIGN?  

Cuddle buddies

All the blogging I could do

The other day as I was watching Ashlyn and Haley beat the ever loving crap out of each other I thought "Wow, I should make a blog or something so I can keep everyone up to date on what these kids are doing."  Then I remembered Oh yeah.  

Tomorrow April is coming to spend the night so we can get up Saturday morning and run 3.1 miles voluntarily.  Not only is this voluntary, but we also paid the people to let us do it.  April is hoping to set some kind of record.  I am hoping not to die.

This should be very entertaining, however probably not as entertaining as this afternoon, when Jenny said "Let's go feed the ducks!" and so we took my 4 and her 2 and picked up Grandma and went to the lake.  There was a small mishap at the lake, and there are no pictures of it, simply because instead of taking pictures I was too busy trying to decide if I was gonna laugh it off or be pissed. 

See, there was some mud at the lake, and Skylar comes hauling right through the middle of it and somehow she doesn't fall, but her shoes are sucked right off her feet into the puddle.  And Jenny and I are all "Oh no!  Look out for the mud!" but Mary Kate either doesn't hear us or just decides to ignore us and she tries to run right through it and the next thing you know she's naked and crying and Jenny is using a baby wipe trying to get her cleaned up and so I'm all "Look!  We told you guys to watch out for the mud!" and wouldn't you know it right after that Owen is naked right beside Mary Kate and we're out of wipes.  

And no one could understand why we had to leave.  It's no wonder I seldom leave my house anymore.

All-knowing

"Hey Mama, you know what's totally not fair?"

"You mean other than life?"

Asking all runners

I'm running in a 5K on my birthday.  

Yeah, I'm just gonna let you soak that in for a minute.  Amber, quit laughing.

I am not a runner, I have never been a runner, but I've decided that I'm getting old and I need to exercise more so I can live a long, healthy life despite the massive amounts of alcohol I consume on a daily basis.  

I've also managed to bully April and Jenny into running with me, so if any of you are lacking for entertainment you really need to come watch.  I started "training" about three weeks ago and I'm currently at about a 10-minute mile pace.  I am not at that pace because I'm a decent runner though, I'm at that pace because running is boring as hell and I'm basically trying to get finished as quickly as I can.  I started off just seeing what I could do and tried to run a 12-minute mile pace and almost died right there it was so freaking boring.  The next week I bumped it up to a 6 mph pace just to shave off 6 minutes of the monotony.  Watching the tv on the treadmill helps tremendously, and I have no idea how I will possibly run 3.1 miles without being able to watch Live! with Regis and Kelly or the E! True Hollywood Story on the Kardashians.  But besides the boredom, here's my biggest problem:  I cannot pace myself off the treadmill.  So when I'm running out on the road I have no idea how fast I'm going.

The only thing I can figure out is that I should run on the treadmill at a 10-minute mile pace and scroll through my ipod for songs that I can run on the beat to?  Does this sound right?  Or should I just let April worry about the pace and just run with her?  

Parental math

"How far away is it?"

"Um, about 45 minutes."

"How long is that?"

"Well...long enough for the Wonder Pets to save three animals."

It's a good thing I like the 80s

To all of  you who said "Oh Jennifer, don't worry, when it gets longer it will lay down!"

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

In honor of my favorite holiday I made Skylar an obnoxious dress.
Inside the box it says "lucky" and you can take it one of two ways:
1. You're lucky she doesn't live with you.
or
2. It's a lucky thing she's cute otherwise she'd get the hell beat out of her every single day of her life.

New background

The new St. Patrick's Day background is my first lame attempt at creating my own layout from scratch.  Ashlyn helped, and by that I mean I asked "Do you think the two buttons should be even or not?" and she said "Even."  Of course she wanted to go around hogging all the glory when we got the thing to actually load, but I expected that.  Now that I look at it I can tell that the striped border looks awful...maybe a plain white divider would have been better.  Anyway, I'm hoping to get better with time.

St. Patrick's Day is my favorite holiday, because that was the day Scott and I first spent any time together outside of finance class, way back in 1996, and we've been together ever since.  (well, not counting basic training, PLDC, when he went to San Diego, OCS, when he went to Japan, all the field time in Alaska and Hawaii, that time he went to Afghanistan, and the present)  I know there are several people out there who read this blog who were there that fateful night (AW!) and PLEASE KEEP YOUR STORIES/COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.  No one wants to hear the whole sordid tale.  It would take too long and I would have to answer too many uncomfortable questions, most of them leading to more uncomfortable questions, like "Did you ever find Tonya?" and "Where exactly did you last see the car?" and "What on earth happened to those stuffed animals?"  *sigh*  Those were the good ol' days.

Yeah, sit there and judge.  You know you wish you had been there.  

**edited to add**

this was the first background I made

That little dog

Several people have been asking me about Shelby and how she's doing and blah blah blah and really I haven't had time to get into it on here because I'm too busy running all over the house cleaning up the teaspoon-size puddles of pee she leaves behind her.  

I've turned into a broken record, one that goes "Where's that little dog?" over and over again and inevitably she's run around the corner to pee.  And Heidi is absolutely beside herself, because that little dog has the nerve to just pee right in front of you while you are looking at her.  It makes Heidi so nervous she spends a lot of time just sitting in her crate with the door open shaking.  I am not even lying.   

I'm sure she's tried to warn her, but that little dog is pretty stupid.  And Heidi's all "What the hell are you doing?  She's gonna come in here and see you doing that and lose her mind.  Listen, if there's any advice I can give you it's DO NOT PEE IN HER HOUSE.  She hates that.  Remember that one time, the only time she ever took us outside together?  And it was overcast and she was trying to get us to hurry and instead of coming back to her we ran down to the road?  And then when we saw her coming we thought it'd be funny to run down the street toward the busy 4-lane road?  And then it started raining?  And she chased us all the way down the street and around the corner and up the busy 4-lane road in the rain and we cut back up through the woods and she had to go all the way back around because for God's sake there are snakes in those woods and when she finally got us both back in the house it was very unpleasant for all of us?  And then we got to spend quality time alone in our respective crates?  And now we don't get to be outside at the same time?  If you keep peeing in the house IT WILL BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT ALL DAY EVERY DAY FROM NOW TIL WE DIE."  And Shelby's all "PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE!"  So Heidi goes and sits in her crate and shakes.  

That's pretty much how it's going.  Thanks for asking. 

Second thoughts

(seeing me walking into the first class of Financial Peace)

"Hey, Dave Ramsey's gonna make you sell that purse!"

--thanks Lucy, for always making me smile--: )

Shelby

The latest.
3 weeks

9 weeks

Wireless headphones

Skylar watching Madagascar 2, me listening to XM 49. At the same time. Sometimes I just can't help but be happy.

Where's Joaquin Phoenix?

Probably one of the best things seen lately on television. I love David Letterman. Dude, what is that guy smoking??

I love the 80s

"Look, there's Pastor Dale and Wanda right there."

"I know, I see them...let me roll down the window."

"You're going to talk to them now?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Jennifer, we're in the church parking lot!"

"So?  What's wrong with that?"

"Don't you think you should turn down Def Leppard first?"

Quote of the Week

"Korea?!  Can you text from there?"

Pass the kimchi

We are moving to Korea.
Scott got his orders today. Command sponsored, which means all of us can go with him. Do any of you know if pugs and shih-tzus can fly in the cabin of the plane with you? What about guinea pigs? Hmmm, 4 kids, 2 dogs, 1 guinea pig...on a plane from Atlanta to Korea. WHO WANTS TO RIDE WITH US??? Our report date is 15 Dec 09.

Honestly, this has been so long coming I had begun to think we'd never get any orders, and today out of the blue they showed up in his inbox.

It's really such a shock that right now I don't even have a smart ass comment to make.

And that's saying something.

Party Pictures

I am just now getting around to posting some pictures from Skylar's birthday party, but good grief I've been so busy you would not believe it. There are not enough hours in the day to get all my stuff done, and it's very frustrating. I've been counting the days until the end of basketball season and this is finally the last week and you know what? Big deal! I've still got commitments three nights of the week. Time is passing quickly, and that's a good thing, but I'm running crazy all the time and I'm just plain tired.

Anyway, here are some of the pictures from Skylar's birthday party. Judy took some, Chris took some, and Patrick took a few. I didn't take any because this is my fourth kid and frankly I've just about lost interest completely at this point. I need to farm some of these kids out for a while. Or at least hire somebody to finish potty training Skylar.