All-knowing

"Hey Mama, you know what's totally not fair?"

"You mean other than life?"

Asking all runners

I'm running in a 5K on my birthday.  

Yeah, I'm just gonna let you soak that in for a minute.  Amber, quit laughing.

I am not a runner, I have never been a runner, but I've decided that I'm getting old and I need to exercise more so I can live a long, healthy life despite the massive amounts of alcohol I consume on a daily basis.  

I've also managed to bully April and Jenny into running with me, so if any of you are lacking for entertainment you really need to come watch.  I started "training" about three weeks ago and I'm currently at about a 10-minute mile pace.  I am not at that pace because I'm a decent runner though, I'm at that pace because running is boring as hell and I'm basically trying to get finished as quickly as I can.  I started off just seeing what I could do and tried to run a 12-minute mile pace and almost died right there it was so freaking boring.  The next week I bumped it up to a 6 mph pace just to shave off 6 minutes of the monotony.  Watching the tv on the treadmill helps tremendously, and I have no idea how I will possibly run 3.1 miles without being able to watch Live! with Regis and Kelly or the E! True Hollywood Story on the Kardashians.  But besides the boredom, here's my biggest problem:  I cannot pace myself off the treadmill.  So when I'm running out on the road I have no idea how fast I'm going.

The only thing I can figure out is that I should run on the treadmill at a 10-minute mile pace and scroll through my ipod for songs that I can run on the beat to?  Does this sound right?  Or should I just let April worry about the pace and just run with her?  

Parental math

"How far away is it?"

"Um, about 45 minutes."

"How long is that?"

"Well...long enough for the Wonder Pets to save three animals."

It's a good thing I like the 80s

To all of  you who said "Oh Jennifer, don't worry, when it gets longer it will lay down!"

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

In honor of my favorite holiday I made Skylar an obnoxious dress.
Inside the box it says "lucky" and you can take it one of two ways:
1. You're lucky she doesn't live with you.
or
2. It's a lucky thing she's cute otherwise she'd get the hell beat out of her every single day of her life.

New background

The new St. Patrick's Day background is my first lame attempt at creating my own layout from scratch.  Ashlyn helped, and by that I mean I asked "Do you think the two buttons should be even or not?" and she said "Even."  Of course she wanted to go around hogging all the glory when we got the thing to actually load, but I expected that.  Now that I look at it I can tell that the striped border looks awful...maybe a plain white divider would have been better.  Anyway, I'm hoping to get better with time.

St. Patrick's Day is my favorite holiday, because that was the day Scott and I first spent any time together outside of finance class, way back in 1996, and we've been together ever since.  (well, not counting basic training, PLDC, when he went to San Diego, OCS, when he went to Japan, all the field time in Alaska and Hawaii, that time he went to Afghanistan, and the present)  I know there are several people out there who read this blog who were there that fateful night (AW!) and PLEASE KEEP YOUR STORIES/COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.  No one wants to hear the whole sordid tale.  It would take too long and I would have to answer too many uncomfortable questions, most of them leading to more uncomfortable questions, like "Did you ever find Tonya?" and "Where exactly did you last see the car?" and "What on earth happened to those stuffed animals?"  *sigh*  Those were the good ol' days.

Yeah, sit there and judge.  You know you wish you had been there.  

**edited to add**

this was the first background I made

That little dog

Several people have been asking me about Shelby and how she's doing and blah blah blah and really I haven't had time to get into it on here because I'm too busy running all over the house cleaning up the teaspoon-size puddles of pee she leaves behind her.  

I've turned into a broken record, one that goes "Where's that little dog?" over and over again and inevitably she's run around the corner to pee.  And Heidi is absolutely beside herself, because that little dog has the nerve to just pee right in front of you while you are looking at her.  It makes Heidi so nervous she spends a lot of time just sitting in her crate with the door open shaking.  I am not even lying.   

I'm sure she's tried to warn her, but that little dog is pretty stupid.  And Heidi's all "What the hell are you doing?  She's gonna come in here and see you doing that and lose her mind.  Listen, if there's any advice I can give you it's DO NOT PEE IN HER HOUSE.  She hates that.  Remember that one time, the only time she ever took us outside together?  And it was overcast and she was trying to get us to hurry and instead of coming back to her we ran down to the road?  And then when we saw her coming we thought it'd be funny to run down the street toward the busy 4-lane road?  And then it started raining?  And she chased us all the way down the street and around the corner and up the busy 4-lane road in the rain and we cut back up through the woods and she had to go all the way back around because for God's sake there are snakes in those woods and when she finally got us both back in the house it was very unpleasant for all of us?  And then we got to spend quality time alone in our respective crates?  And now we don't get to be outside at the same time?  If you keep peeing in the house IT WILL BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT ALL DAY EVERY DAY FROM NOW TIL WE DIE."  And Shelby's all "PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE!"  So Heidi goes and sits in her crate and shakes.  

That's pretty much how it's going.  Thanks for asking. 

Second thoughts

(seeing me walking into the first class of Financial Peace)

"Hey, Dave Ramsey's gonna make you sell that purse!"

--thanks Lucy, for always making me smile--: )

Shelby

The latest.
3 weeks

9 weeks

Wireless headphones

Skylar watching Madagascar 2, me listening to XM 49. At the same time. Sometimes I just can't help but be happy.

Where's Joaquin Phoenix?

Probably one of the best things seen lately on television. I love David Letterman. Dude, what is that guy smoking??

I love the 80s

"Look, there's Pastor Dale and Wanda right there."

"I know, I see them...let me roll down the window."

"You're going to talk to them now?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Jennifer, we're in the church parking lot!"

"So?  What's wrong with that?"

"Don't you think you should turn down Def Leppard first?"

Quote of the Week

"Korea?!  Can you text from there?"

Pass the kimchi

We are moving to Korea.
Scott got his orders today. Command sponsored, which means all of us can go with him. Do any of you know if pugs and shih-tzus can fly in the cabin of the plane with you? What about guinea pigs? Hmmm, 4 kids, 2 dogs, 1 guinea pig...on a plane from Atlanta to Korea. WHO WANTS TO RIDE WITH US??? Our report date is 15 Dec 09.

Honestly, this has been so long coming I had begun to think we'd never get any orders, and today out of the blue they showed up in his inbox.

It's really such a shock that right now I don't even have a smart ass comment to make.

And that's saying something.

Party Pictures

I am just now getting around to posting some pictures from Skylar's birthday party, but good grief I've been so busy you would not believe it. There are not enough hours in the day to get all my stuff done, and it's very frustrating. I've been counting the days until the end of basketball season and this is finally the last week and you know what? Big deal! I've still got commitments three nights of the week. Time is passing quickly, and that's a good thing, but I'm running crazy all the time and I'm just plain tired.

Anyway, here are some of the pictures from Skylar's birthday party. Judy took some, Chris took some, and Patrick took a few. I didn't take any because this is my fourth kid and frankly I've just about lost interest completely at this point. I need to farm some of these kids out for a while. Or at least hire somebody to finish potty training Skylar.

Candid camera

Live from Iraq.

Each and every morning

Every morning Owen protests school in some way.  This is his "maybe if she doesn't see me she'll forget to take me" try, which is lame, but in his defense he doesn't have many options once I get him in the car.  At least he doesn't get naked anymore.     

Happy Birthday Yesterday!!

Yesterday was Skylar's 2nd birthday.  I would have mentioned it had I been blogging yesterday, but instead I was spending an exorbitant amount of time at the doctor's office (2+ hours), followed by the pharmacy (1+hours), followed by making several phone calls, the last one ending with me saying "Just where exactly do you sit at the doctor's office because I'm coming over there right now to KICK YOUR ASS."  Not my finest moment, but not my worst, so I'm at peace with it.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SKYLAR.  You are such a joy to have and to spend time with.  You are such a happy, happy child.  Your personality is second to none, and I'm so glad that I have finally managed to capture that personality on film to share with all the people who never get to spend time with you.  LOOK AT THAT PRECIOUS FACE!  WHO WANTS TO BABYSIT?? 

Tagged-Fourth

I was looking up Becky's blog so I could link to her and lo and behold she freakin tagged me again.
You're supposed to post your fourth picture in your fourth folder. Honestly, who thinks this stuff up? And do they get paid?

Here's mine.  Apparently we're hard up for entertainment around this place.  

The Bucket List

Those of you who know me know that one sure way to get me back on here writing nonsense is to send me some type of survey.  I hate them, yes, but for some reason I can't not do them.  This one was sent to me by Amanda, and then by Lucinda.  And of course I'm tagging everybody who reads this blog, and both of you better oblige me and do it too.

Subject: The Bucket List--Something Different 

Hit forward and place an (x) by all the things you've done and remove
the (x) from the ones you have not. 

(  ) Been to Europe
(x) Been on a cruise
(  ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(  ) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
(  ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
(x) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(  ) Sang Karaoke
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(  ) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise alone 
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice skating
(x) Gone roller skating
(x) Gone to the movies
(  ) Own your Favorite Car

1. Any nickname? Jenny Lynn (by Scott), Dipshit (by my kids--but only in their minds)
2. Mother's name? Donna
3. Favorite drink? water
4. Body Piercing? my ears and my belly button
5. How much do you love your Car? my van/party wagon is freaking awesome.  GET YOURSELF A VAN
6. Birthplace? Rome, GA
7. Been to Hawaii? yes
8. Ever been to Africa? No
9. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? probably so but my memory doesn't reach farther back than last week.  it's the mary jane.
10. Ever been on TV? yes
11. Ever steal any traffic sign? no, but the lawyer has
12. Ever been in a car accident? yes
13. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4-door
14. ?Why is this question missing?
15. Favorite number? 6
16. Favorite movie? Sense and Sensibility
17. Favorite holiday? St. Patrick's Day
18. Favorite dessert? peach cobbler
19. Favorite food? kung pao chicken
20. Favorite day of the week? Friday
21. Favorite brand of body wash? who cares
22. Toothpaste? Colgate
23. Favorite smell? clean baby hair
24. How do you relax? mwahhaha
25. How do you see yourself in 10 years? the wife of a battalion commander
26. Furthest Place you will send this message? I'm tagging Amber in Italy
27. Who will respond to this the fastest? uh, I'll put the pressure on BECKY