Merry Freakin Christmas

Today I went shopping with some gift cards that Scott's mom and younger brother sent for the kids.  I wanted them to have presents to open instead of just the cards so I decided to brave the mad rush of people and go to the mall.  After spending about five minutes in Old Navy I decided that it's impossible for me to get into "holiday spirit" mode when I have to shop surrounded by freakin morons.  

It's bad enough to deal with all the people standing around with buggies blocking the racks of clothes, but then you have to be accosted by over-eager sales associates who don't seem to have any tack.

"What size do you need?"

"12-18 months"

"Oh!  How old is your baby?"

"11 months today"

"Then are you sure you need to 12-18 month size instead of the 6-12 month size?  I mean, is your baby fat or something?"

"Are you in any way related to someone named Valerie?" ***

"What?"

And on and on it went, me pushing past people who didn't seem to be shopping, instead they were just visiting with friends they happened to run into at the mall, right in front of all the racks of clothes I wanted to look at.  The lines were ridiculous, but to fully appreciate my day you have to add that on to the fact that there were 72 mph wind gusts out here in West Texas today and when I walked out of the Dollar Store with my wrapping paper I blew over right in the middle of the parking lot.  

It all culminated in Sears, when, while I was waiting in line, I got into a screaming fight with some stupid punk teenager.  I won't bore you with all the details but it started with some jackass punk teenage boy making a huge scene accusing the two girls in line in front of me of staring at his girlfriend (by the way, if my girls EVER try to leave the house looking like this guy's girlfriend looked I will totally beat their ass) and it ended with me screaming this:

"SO WHAT if they were staring?  If it bothers you that badly I'll keep my fingers crossed really tight that maybe one day they'll make staring illegal and then you can SUE THEM!  But until that day comes SHUT UP FOR GOD'S SAKE!"  

After that I decided I should probably just call it a day... 

***inside joke