Skylar's new favorite game

(it is best to play this game after Mommy has had a long day)

1.  try very hard, as hard as you possibly can, to get to something you are not supposed to have*

2.  attempt to crawl away from Mommy while holding the forbidden object while trying to cram it into your mouth

3.  when Mommy takes it away, fling yourself face down on the floor and scream your freaking head off

4.  when Mommy offers you some dumb stupid baby toy to play with instead, throw it at her head, give her the "evil-eye" and scream your freaking head off**

5.  when Mommy tries to stand you at the coffee table to play with some dumb stupid baby toy pretend you are a wet noodle and throw your head around and kick Mommy, then scream your freakin head off

6  when Mommy picks you up, throw up on her

*the best things are electrical cords, pencils or other writing instruments, the remote for the tv, or cat food

**do NOT treat car keys as an acceptable replacement toy.  while these are fun to play with, the novelty quickly wears off once Mommy removes the part with the BRIGHT! RED! panic button and you can no longer start the continuous horn honking by pushing said button

Car Version of the Game:

1.  sit in your carseat and scream your freaking head off

2.  take whatever Mommy hands you and (this is the key, pay attention!) do NOT throw it at her head or to any area of the car she can reach while driving.  instead, throw it to some remote part of the backseat, preferably by the door.  scream your freaking head off

3.  Mommy will quickly run out of things to hand you.  continue to scream your freaking head off.  

4.  Mommy will turn the radio up.  Scream louder.

5.  Mommy will stop the car and try to get you out.  However, when she opens the door all the shit you've thrown beside the door will fall out on the ground, and Mommy will have to pick it all up, and sometimes she will have to crawl under the car if you are lucky and the pacifier bounces correctly.  This will allow some extra time for you to continue to scream your freaking head off.

6.  the minute you get inside your destination, preferably a store of some type, throw up on Mommy.  

7.  sit in the buggy politely and smile and wave at all the passerbys and the cashier, prompting them to say what a good, sweet baby you are.

8.  upon returning to the car, see #1.