I really should know better

Friday both Frosty and Dixie had appointments at the vet. Frosty needed his yearly shots and Dixie needed her first set of shots plus I wanted to get her checked for feline leukemia just to be on the safe side since we found her in a germ hole. When Scott called to tell me that he couldn't come home to watch Owen and Skylar I should have rescheduled the appointment. I should have known that if I was taking Owen, Skylar, and the two cats someplace in the car by myself I might as well invite Trouble to ride along in the front seat with me. But I am strong. I live far away from family. I have no one to watch my kids for me while I do mundane everyday tasks like take animals to get shots so I take them with me. Actually, it doesn't really occur to me that there should be someone to watch my kids while I do things. They are just always with me. Plain and simple.

So it took three tries to get Frosty and Dixie into the kennel, as we currently only have one and they were having to share against their will. Then, after I finally managed to get the door shut there was a massive cat fight in there. I guess nobody won because after it was over they were both plastered up against opposite ends of the kennel and neither of them looked like they were bragging so I put the kennel in the backseat beside Skylar.

And oh my gosh does Frosty hate the car. I knew he hated the car, but it's been a year since he'd been in the car and I had kind of hoped he would get better about it but no such luck. As soon as we started backing up he started screeching. Just over and over and over screeching like I was killing him and it totally freaked Skylar out, so I'm trying to drive the car really fast (but safely) to the vet and Owen's asking nonstop questions about why is Frosty making all that noise and how is Frosty making all that noise and what in the world is wrong with Frosty and on and on and somehow I managed not to drive the car off a cliff to avoid being overcome by all the screeching and all the questions. Probably what saved us is there are no cliffs between our house and the vet.

We got to the vet and first I put Skylar in the stroller. Then I got Owen out of the car. Then I got the kennel out. Has anybody seen the movie Christmas Vacation? Where the grandma shows up at the house with a present and it turns out she wrapped up her cat in the box? And Chevy Chase is holding the present by the bow and it's just shaking all over the place all wildly? Anybody? Because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS when you put Frosty and Dixie in the same kennel and then attempt to carry the kennel into the vet. It's bad enough that they are in there together, but then they look through the breathing holes in the sides of the kennel and they see the vet and they LOSE THEIR MINDS. And the vet? Does it have a ramp? Is it handicap/wheelchair/stroller accessible? Apparently not. Because there was no ramp. My stroller doesn't have a bar, it has two handles. So I had to put down the kennel to get Skylar and the stroller up to the door. And the stupid kennel is scooting across the ground away from the vet with the cats' efforts to get as far away as possible. Frosty is all "Oh my God we're at the vet! She's brought us to the vet! This is bad, Dixie, bad. Do what I do!" And there they are inside it, throwing their bodies up against the side, trying to move it back to the car. One, two, GO! One, two, GO!

We made it inside and into an exam room. The lady opened the door on the kennel and cats shot everywhere, let me tell you. Frosty got his shots first and was immediately put back inside. Dixie got her tests done (all were negative) and got her shots and was shoved back inside. Then we went to pay and I was thinking it didn't go as badly as I thought it would go and right then Frosty threw up inside the kennel all over Dixie. And Dixie jumped on Frosty and there was another huge cat fight in the kennel in the throw-up. So the good people that work there took both cats and washed them off while I paid and did everything in my power to keep a huge dog from eating Skylar. Then Scott calls me on my cell phone, and asks if I'm done yet, and I'm trying to explain what's happened, trying to get it across to him that my days are filled with things other than good times playing video games and it's so hard to be me and I'm doing the best I can do and the stupid cat threw up all over the other cat and all over the inside of the kennel and Owen is begging me to let him pet the doggie and the lady comes out with my kennel with Frosty and 3 pounds of newspaper shoved inside it and a cardboard kennel with Dixie so we're going to try to get everybody to the car and Scott's all "What do you want for lunch? What do you feel like? Do you want a sandwich, or something else? What do you want me to get you for lunch?" and finally I'm all "I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK" and then, then I drop my cell phone.

So now my cell phone won't charge on demand, you have to plug it in and wiggle the plug for, oh, like half an hour and maybe, maybe it will begin to charge, and when you unplug the cord it still says it's charging, which I know is impossible of course, so you have to plug it in again and then unplug it right away so the battery meter quits blinking. Then it shows a full battery, which also must be an evil lie, because if you try to make a call on it the battery immediately drops to empty and the phone begins beeping every few seconds so you're sure to notice that it needs to be plugged in again. And it is PHYSICALLY HURTING ME that my phone is messed up, and what in the world am I going to do if I lose my ability to text message, because text messaging is what makes me whole, and if I don't have your cell phone number you should be glad, because if I had it I'd text you EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE. I think I'm going to have to replace my cell phone, and I'm not really happy about it, and all of this could have been avoided if I'd just stayed home. But now really, where's the fun in that?