Ladies' Man

Saturday Owen went to a birthday party for a little girl in his preschool class at the bowling alley on post. Alexandria (she goes by Alex) is his girlfriend. She is the one with the two long pigtails. Ashley is the girl beside Owen. She is also his girlfriend. And, as you can tell, she is enamored with Owen. I don't know what goes on at that preschool, but all the girls love Owen. It's probably better I don't know I guess.

In the end there were 7 or 8 kids there and when it came time for cake Alex's mother said "Okay everybody, let's sing!" and all the kids started singing the ABCs. Then it was time for presents and another little girl wanted to help and Alex didn't want anyone touching her presents so after yelling NO! at her twice Alex punched her right in the face at the table. So the little girl cried and her dad got upset and Alex's mother tried to make Alex apologize and Alex refused, so Alex's granny started yelling at Alex and then there was more crying. You'd have thought it would have ruined the party but it didn't bother Owen and Ashley who were down at the end of the table fawning all over each other and sharing a cup of sprite. The whole thing just reinforced my opinion that kids of certain ages to not need to have huge, elaborate birthday parties thrown for them in public places. At your house? Well, that's fine. But it looked like Cinderella threw up all over the bowling alley and that coupled with all the crying 4 year olds was definitely distracting to all the soldiers engaging in massive amounts of PDA on the couches while Pour Some Sugar on Me blared over the speakers. I would have felt sorry for them but at the same time these are some of the same soldiers who do stupid stupid things in the middle of the night and cause my phone to ring and cause my husband to be very uh, grumpy.

Tuesday James from preschool is coming over to play. James' mother is coming too, and I can't wait for this, because she is Korean and doesn't speak very much english. And the english she does speak is wrong. So she is one of these people who tries to talk to you, but it's clear you don't understand her, so she talks louder to you. And I'm like Listen Lady, you can shout if from the freakin rooftops, I still don't know what the hell you're talking about, so here's a thought: Come over to my house, and you can talk Korean and I can talk Southern and we can just nod and smile. And even as the words come over to my house were coming out of my mouth I knew it was a bad bad idea. It's going to be so uncomfortable. Just thinking about it makes me throw up a little in my mouth. I need to get somebody to call about 20 minutes into the visit and if it's going badly we can do that thing where you pretend there's an emergency and you have to leave. Any takers?