She is SO not marrying him

This past Saturday was another one of those days that's all about Haley; she had cheerleading (I thought we were through with all that nonsense but she had to go and make all-stars) and then a birthday party.  It wasn't just any old birthday party though, it was Jax's birthday party, Jax being the love of her life and boyfriend of just over six weeks.  The day Haley brought home the invitation she wanted me to RSVP right there in the pick-up line, but I managed to hold off for an hour.  To tell you the truth I was a little bit concerned when I read the paper, because, as I've said, I'm not a big nature person per say and the "where" part of the invite read "In the pasture beside our house."  So I called, and said Haley wouldn't miss it for the world AND the moon, and proceeded to become even more nervous about the whole situation when his mother asked if Haley was allergic to bees, grass or poison ivy/oak.  And my head was just swimming and all I could think of was "What kind of pasture is this exactly, because while Haley's fine around bees, grass and poison ivy/oak I'm pretty sure she's allergic to bulls running in her direction.  Because when I think of "pasture" I think of cows and the like.

And wouldn't you know it, after a week of very nice weather Saturday it was so freaking cold I had to warm up the car for half an hour before I could bring myself to sit on the leather.  We had gotten him a present at ToysRUs, one that took Haley about two hours to choose, after we looked at every single thing they sell in that store.  He had told Haley he wanted her to buy him something he "could throw at his younger brother."  I called my friend Sabrina, the tattooed detective, and asked her where the road was and she said "You're going where?  Why?"  But I was unfazed, by golly I'm taking Haley to this birthday party because this is the love of her life and her cat died and her Daddy's away for a while and we're going and we're going to LIKE IT.  

Oh.  My.  God.  

There is no way in hell I would have left my daughter there for any amount of time.  I'm not sure I would have went back to the car to get something and let her out of my sight.  And I texted Sabrina that I was scared and to come with her gun and she texted back that there were worse places in Floyd County.  Let me just say, if there are worse places I cannot even begin to imagine them.  I was and still am speechless.  I am also extremely proud of myself for staying and not just passing right by and going home.  

They did a scavenger hunt where they were supposed to walk around the yard/pasture (which did not contain any cows or bulls) and find things on the list.  They were not to leave the yard/pasture.  Now I'm not very good at guessing sizes, but if a normal house sits on a half acre lot then this pasture was roughly 5 acres big.  Please understand that these items were not placed in the yard for the scavenger hunt.  These were things that could be found in the yard on any given day.  

Among other things, the list included:

1. dead tree

2. creek bed

3. moss

4. mud

5. ponded area (is this like a pond?)

6. coon dogs 

7. 13 tractors (t-h-i-r-t-e-e-n tractors.  in the yard.  everyday.  13.)

8. little dump truck

9. big dump truck

10. run down house (I saw no houses that I would call "inhabitable"  I saw no houses at all.  All I saw was "pasture" and a shed)

11. radiators

12. plow

13. a potty (classy)

14. a blue van (non-working of course)

15. 3 wrecked cars

16. 2 race cars

17. bull dozer

18. 2 green cars (again, non-working)

19. bathtub

20. log truck

People.  Are you kidding me?  I mean, I've looked back over the last couple of weeks and I'm just wondering WHAT ON EARTH I did to deserve this.  What?  Do I need to do some charity work or something?  Is it not enough that I live with Skylar all day, every day? 

Among the better conversations I had:

Me:  So, that girl driving the Rhino that's pulling the trailer full of kids including my daughter that's circling the "pasture" over and over...how old is she?

Uncle of Jax:  That's my kid.  She's nine. 

Me:  You seem to have a lot of family.  Do y'all get together often?

Same Uncle:  Oh yeah, well we cook out about every other week or so...you know, whenever we all have our kids at the same time.

And oh my gosh it was so cold.  So I'm sitting by the bonfire trying to keep my chattering teeth from biting off my tongue listening to some lady, an aunt maybe, telling the story of her husband getting hit in the face by his ex-fiancee with a beer bottle and how he strangled her for doing that.  She hit him right in the face, right there, in the front, where that tooth is missing, she knocked that tooth right out.  And at that moment I flashed forward in my mind to the wedding, and their side of the church and my side of the church and I would have started crying right there but my tear ducts were frozen.  

I told Scott all about it, how I was extremely out of place, and I'm a person that can usually fit in just about anywhere.  And I was all "I was sitting there thinking about the wedding and Scott, there is just no way-" and he's all "Jennifer, come on, there's no way they would get married.  That's like, 15 years away.  We'll move three, four more times.  She'll forget all about him and never see him again."

Oh, it could happen.  Trust me.

Hello.  Have we met?  I'm Jennifer.  Let me tell you about how I have SHIT FOR LUCK.