Ducks!

Sunday night after dinner we took some old hamburger buns and went to feed the ducks near our house.  

I do not like ducks.  I have a scar on my leg from a cut I received while trying to climb over a chain link fence to escape a charging duck.  Also, in high school there was a huge duck, or maybe it was a goose, either way it was deranged, that lived in a pond at my friend Tara's house.  That duck used to terrify us.  One day her dad put it in the back of his truck and drove it over to Alabama and left it.  And that duck beat him back to the house.  So just trust me, ducks are not to be messed with.  Like goats.  Why people think goats are cute is beyond me.  I'm telling you, goats are straight from the devil and they will turn on you in a heartbeat.  And it's very hard to outrun a goat.  I know.

Anyway, the kids think ducks are fun.  They think this because when we walk we go right past where they congregate up near the road and from a distance they look like something you want to be a part of.  This is how they gain your trust and draw you in.  So you bring some bread over to them like the fool you are thinking you can toss a couple of pieces out and It'll be fun!  The ducks will eat the bread!  And they will be so cute!  Well, one piece of bread goes out to one little duck and the other ducks come racing over and you quickly find that YOU CANNOT THROW THE BREAD FAST ENOUGH.  Not even handfuls of bread thrown in super fast succession will appease ducks.  They are greedy little suckers. 

The reason the kids think ducks are fun is one time we tried to feed the ducks downtown in the Concho River that runs beside the huge wooden playground.  Even though all we ended up feeding was a turtle there were no uncomfortable incidents regarding the ducks so my kids now think that Ducks Are Fun.  

We got the kids out of the car and my plan was to immediately began putting them on top of the picnic tables where they would be out of the ducks' reach.  This lasted long enough for me to get Haley up there and try to get Owen and that's when Haley jumped down and ran after the ducks with the other ones close behind.  So, against my better judgement, we all approached the ducks.  

I took pictures strictly for insurance purposes.  

Skylar sees the ducks in the distance.    

Feeling bold due to the fact that her siblings are morons and were actively trying to get closer and closer to the ducks Skylar runs toward them.  Note none of the ducks are facing her.

Skylar closes in on the ducks and two of them turn around and start walking toward her.  At that time Skylar sees them up close and personal and see the look on her face?  That's her WHAT THE HELL? look.  That was the end of Skylar's curiosity with the ducks, as she quickly turned around and high-tailed it back to the picnic table.

This was toward the end of our duck visit.  

"Give me some of your bread."

"No."

"Give me some of your bread!"

"No!  Get your own!"

"There isn't any more.  That's the last piece."

"Well, TOO BAD for you!"

"Maaaamaaaa!  Owen won't share his bread!"

"I DON'T WANT TO SHARE WITH HERRRRR!'

Haley then tried to remove the bread from Owen's hand against his will.  

Crying ensued. 

Scott yelled. 

We left. 

The end.