But I forgot the camera

Yesterday Owen played in his first ever t-ball game.  There was no winner or loser, just everybody on our team bats once and then everybody on the other team bats once and then you do it all again.  I took pictures, about 100 of them, and I plan on loading them onto the computer in the very near future and telling you all about how awesome Owen is at t-ball.  He is very adept at standing around and digging holes in the dirt with his cleats.  Seriously though, our coach throws each kid three pitches and if they don't hit any of them then they hit off the tee.  Well, Owen hit the ball off the pitch, because he is the most awesome t-ball player ever in the history of t-ball.  And yes, I know it makes no sense to say he's awesome at t-ball if he doesn't hit off the tee, because then it's not really t-ball, but I'm a proud parent and you should cut me a little slack.  I'll listen to hours and hours of you telling me how great your kid is at whatever they play and you'll listen to me.  Apparently it's some unspoken deal in the whole "parenthood" thing we do every day.

Tonight Haley cheered at her first ever football game.  And I forgot the camera.  It's too bad I did too, because if I had taken the camera I could have captured the cheerleaders all huddled close to the light tower discussing their plan of action.  I could also have captured the cheerleaders jumping around and stirring up a swarm of angry hornets who lived in a nest they had built on the light tower.  Then I could have taken a few shots of all the cheerleader running in all different directions with looks of terror on their face as the angry swarm of hornets attacked them.  And lastly, I could have taken a cameo shot of Haley getting stung on her shoulder by one of the angry hornets and losing her mind and falling down and screaming like she had been shot, then coming as close as humanly possible to hyperventilating without actually needing a paper bag.

And some guy who was in charge came over with a can of angry hornet spray, and he shot spray 20 feet in all directions and then came over and told me "If it's any consolation I've killed them all."  Uh, no, it's no consolation to me you freaking dumbass.  What would have been nice was for you to check the field beforehand and make sure it was safe to put kids on it, as another cheerleader also got stung (she handled it much better than Haley, no surprise).  And while we're at it, why isn't your flag at half mast?  Get with the program moron.  

Gosh, I seem a little testy.  

I really wish I was kidding, but I'm not.  This stuff really does happen to me.  I'm not sure why, but I've given it a lot of thought and I think it's the Russians who are behind it all.

Anyway, not to worry, Haley has another game on Saturday and I'll take the camera to that one and try to capture it all on film so we can relive it in photo albums for years and years to come.  So when I'm old and I just sit in my chair and mumble with glassy eyes they can hold them up in front of me and say "REMEMBER MAMA?  THIS IS FROM WHEN HALEY BECAME A CHEERLEADER, BACK IN 2008."  And maybe as they relive all these moments with me it'll all start to make sense to them.  That was the year.  That was the beginning of Mama losing her mind.