The Conference

Yesterday up at that drama pit of an elementary school where my kids attend there was an incident that indirectly involved Haley so now tomorrow I have to go up and talk to the principal about it. Let's face it, before Haley was 2 we all knew this day would come; even my mother told me I'd better just get a parking spot right by the front door, because I'd be up there all the time sorting out her messes. This feeling was further enforced the first day of preschool when Haley was only 3 years old and she punched a little boy because "he tried to stand in my spot."

This time, however, I am proud to say that Haley has not done anything wrong. But now I've got my fur all up and I've got an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. And the principal...well, this is going to sound bad, really bad, so I'm just going to go ahead with it, because right now I'm a little ticked so I don't feel as badly about saying it. The principal is a total babe. Right down to her 5 inch heels, extra short skirts, bleached hair and mile long red fingernails. For the entire first year Ashlyn went to school there I was confused as to why they allowed a stripper to run around on the campus. I am not joking, she could so easily be the "exotic dancer" at Da Club down the street from my house where all of Scott's underage soldiers who are not supposed to be traveling off base at any time go to get drunk. And her name is Cheri for God's sake.

I feel really bad, because I'm such a superficial ass to look at her and have a hard time with the fact that she is the principal, but I do. So I've got to go spend an hour with her (and Owen and Skylar) and try to have a serious conversation with her, all the while knowing that her whole life people have probably not been able to get past her looks and gee that must have been tough while at the same time thinking how life is just not fair for all us ugly folk. Also, if you don't want to be viewed as Hooker Barbie, then don't dress like her.

Anyway, I have several things I would like to discuss with her, which include but are not limited to:

1. It's become painfully obvious in the last few weeks that the first graders up at that school need a little more supervision than they are currently receiving.

2. I need a little clarification on what is and is not an appropriate way to spend the school day. I feel like there needs to be more focus on teaching and less focus on petty issues that are always going to come up when you are surrounded by 6 year olds.

3. I do not appreciate the use of scare tactics by another individual on my kid. As her mother, I can parent her however the heck I want to, but as a teacher you should be held to a little higher standard than that. Threats? Really?

4. As a teacher, don't lie to my kid. Also, don't lie to my kid and expect her not to lie back.

There is also a small issue at preschool with Owen, because they have the long ropes with the rings hanging on them that they use for walks and Owen apparently refuses to hold a ring and just walks whichever way he feels like walking. But that's for another day. I'm pacing myself. Hell, it's 38 degrees here in the mornings and I can't get the boy to put on a coat. Do you really think I can make him hold some plastic ring when I'm not even there? Because if you do then you are really really overestimating my super powers.