"Scott, I have a flat tire. Totally flat. Like, if I drive it'd be on the rim."
"So don't drive. Where are you?"
"Well, I'm at Robin's house. But I can't leave because of the tire. Sooo, I'll just go outside and change it."
"NO. I'm on my way right now. DO NOT DISASSEMBLE THE CAR."
Scott came and began to change the tire and my gawd could Ford make it any harder to get the spare tire off? I mean you have to use all the tools from the jack to turn and turn and the little cable goes down an eighth of an inch with every 3 turns or some crap like that. Finally it was low enough and Scott climbed under the car and unhooked it. Then he cranked up the jack a little. Then he got the tire off. Then he cranked up the jack a little more. Then he wrangled the tire onto the car. Then he started putting all the nut things back on.
And it was hot. Hot enough for him to take off his ACU top, and I was just standing there because I'm not allowed to touch anything and it was boring you know? Just standing around watching. So I tried to think of something to say. Conversation is nice, right?
"Wow, it's a good dang thing you don't work for Nascar."
And it's really not important what Scott said, just know that if you're ever in that situation MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
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