The Shopping Trip

This weekend is the tax free weekend here in San Angelo. Since we needed to do some back-to-school shopping I decided I should do it today so we could save money not paying tax and because I figured the mall wouldn't be too full of people on a weekday as opposed to a weekend day.

When we left the house it was sprinkling ever so slightly, but when we got there it was pouring. I mean you could have honestly called it a deluge. Huge, driving drops that were falling too quickly to be absorbed by anything thereby causing flash flooding right in the JCPenney's parking lot. There is no umbrella in my car. I didn't know what to do. I called Amy, who was shopping at Ross, who didn't even realize it was raining. 10 minutes later I'm still sitting in the car waiting for the rain to let up and Amy calls..."We'll put the kids out first and then park." We dropped all the kids off at the door to the mall and parked. I had to get the stroller out of the back of my car and Amy is standing there with her gay pride umbrella which for some reason is not helping at all and there is no kidding 6 inches of water in the parking lot and it is raining like a mother. By the time we got in the store I was soaked from my knees down. Amy was soaked all over. I don't know how she was so wet, but I felt really bad for her.

Shopping is an experience with my 4 kids and Amy's 2 kids. There are several problems. The first is that they won't stay together. At all. So they are running every which way and there's nothing I can do except yell for them and draw even more attention to us. Another problem is they are short, too short to be seen over the racks of clothes, so I'm yelling for them and they are literally two feet away from me not answering so I look like an idiot. The third immediate problem is they get bored easily. So bored that less than an hour into the experience Amy and I are standing in line to pay and Kenny says "Hey! Let's play tag!" Amy said no, they couldn't play tag and Kenny asked hopefully "Hide and Seek?" Um, NO! I lost years off my life and we had only been in one store.

And damn Old Navy for putting bins throughout the store that hold soccer balls and bouncy balls.

Also, the kids are getting old enough to have their own opinions about what they are and are not going to wear. Gone are the days when I could buy clothes and they would happily put them on. Now I point to things and they sneer up their noses and my gosh if you could have seen the tennis shoes Ashlyn wanted you would have died. And we had to have a conversation with Chase about black jeans and different shades of black jeans that lasted entirely too long. Not as long as the conversation about the tennis shoes though.

We made our way through the mall and got to the food court and between the 8 of us we ate at 4 different restaurants. And it took forever. Then we went to Sears. That's where most of the remaining hell broke loose. Owen wanted brown shoes and he was trying them on in between begging me for another pair of Cars shoes and Haley was pushing the stroller. Fast. Running. While tipping it backwards on it's back two wheels. On another row where I couldn't see her. And she tripped. The screaming. Oh the screaming. And Skylar was giving anyone who would listen an earful of baby jabber, she was so ticked off. She was yelling and it wasn't a baby cry, she was pissed, plain and simple.

On our way out of the mall we stopped in JCPenney's at the bathroom and Chase took Owen in and I guess he immediately pulled down his pants without waiting to get in a stall and then broke in front of two other guys who were already in line. And then to Chase's embarrassment Owen wouldn't let him close the stall door so everybody got to watch.

We got outside to the parking lot and it was still raining and behind us the mall collapsed.

Target went pretty smoothly (I bought an umbrella) but Hobby Lobby was a joke. Never take children into that store. They have furniture in the front part they are trying to sell. We were standing in line and the kids wandered out to the furniture and all of a sudden we couldn't see them anymore. And Amy's in the next line mouthing "I can't see ANY of them" and I was totally cool about it, because I was pretty numb by then and really, where can that many kids disappear to? You want to know? They can hide. Really, really well. I walked outside and Nope, couldn't see any of them. I called them and heard lots of giggling and they slowly started coming out from behind the furniture and then Kenny climbs down out of a $1000 armoire. After that I took them outside to play in the road.

Scott and Brian don't realize what we go through with the kids so they don't have to deal with it on their days off from work. If Scott had been with us today the kids would have had the hell beat out of them three times apiece easily. Several times today I looked over at Amy and she was laughing. Bent over, howling, and I know full well she was only doing it to keep from crying. There are no words to describe the events and feelings from today. I can only say it's days like this one that make me mix prescription drugs with alcohol.

On the way home we stopped at the mailbox. In it was a package from Nana and Pops, and I really have to take a second and say "Good Job!" to my dad, who managed to get over $100 worth of clothes for the kids into one of those flat rate priority mail boxes. Don't worry, I'm sure the wrinkles will fall out eventually. We also got an envelope from Meena and Papaw which contained gift cards for the kids to spend at JCPenney's. The problem with that is I'm not sure they will let us back inside the store. After today I feel like they probably put someone at the door with a bullhorn and the next time we try to get in they'll be yelling "Oh, hell no!"